She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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