she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
