fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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