i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
