Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
