What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
