ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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