On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
