After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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