Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We have so much sex to catch up on
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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