OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize