i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
