White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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