i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
