Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
