thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
