dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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