Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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