The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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