I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
