You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
