Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
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my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
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Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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