omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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