I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
