If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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