We won't sleep together?
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
