you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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