We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize