You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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