i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
