My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
