The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
