she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
