Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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