I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
