I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Four minutes until I can fart!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
