I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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