Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize