dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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