Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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