yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
