shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
