Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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