I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
