I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
