Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize