Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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