life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
