I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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