Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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