Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
