Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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