you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
