Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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