just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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