whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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