the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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