I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize