Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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