So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
