All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize