girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
